She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
