we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
