I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
