if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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