I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
