Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
