Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Your penis caused this!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
