The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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