I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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