Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
