Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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