If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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