all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
