remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
