Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
