I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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