I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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