I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
