oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
