can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
