Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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