he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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