I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
