how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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