I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
