the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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