let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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