dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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