No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
