HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
