Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
