So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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