You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If I die, sorry about rent.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
