Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize