with your own penis?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
