a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
