I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize