I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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