I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
