So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
ttyl tear gas
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
