I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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