My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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