Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
