It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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