I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
