On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She's the barista slut.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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