too bad you live with your parents still
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
