you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
