What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
