i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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