why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
