Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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