the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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