She went from zero to smokin in five shots
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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