Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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