Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
