I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
