Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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