can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
