There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
