The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
