When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
