that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he fucked my hip out of place.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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