One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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