Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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