Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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