I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
