your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
