I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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