just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
