shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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