i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
