I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
