Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
