just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
