Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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