he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
