well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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