fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
