i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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