Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
