What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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