I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
