so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
