My underwear smells like fireworks.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
