the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
